29

I am now 29. I often don't remember my age. When I do, I think I'm old. Short list of my accomplishments:

1979: I was born, and despite being 2 weeks late, I did it rather well.
1980: I probably started walking, maybe saying a few words.
1981: I wore some awesome clothes this year. My mom has pictures and is proud of my wardrobe to this day.
1982: This is the fateful year that I lost the extra 6 inches I was supposed to grow to my older brother. (It's true, my doctor at the time even said so)
1983: I learned to say shalom at a presbyterian preschool.
1984: I learned newspeak.
1985: I attended kindergarten, where I got many half-stars(for incomplete homework), for even then, I had a difficult time scheduling myself. Should I play in the sandbox, or color my worksheet? I think I'll just go on the swings.
1986: I set records for most walks on my t-ball team.
1987: I played first baseman for a team coached by Spenser for hire.
1988: I witnessed Kirk Gibson's home run, and my dad is first mistaken for Orel Herscheiser.
1989: I was Puck in a school production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
1990: I contributed to the unity of my elementary school class by bringing a small football to school, and organizing touch football in the mornings before school started.
1991: A trip to Yosemite with my 6th grade class leads to scintillating observation: Yosemite falls sounds a lot like: "Yo, somebody falls!"
1992: In my final baseball season, My on-base percentage of .473 is forever memorialized, after my last at bat is a suicide squeeze, scoring a run.
To be continued...